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Good Sunday, to all my fellow Sunday Sixers!
And we'll get rrrrright back into the swing of things, with Guardian Kaley and Mage Nian on their journey to Wintershedge. Kaley has a bit of a leadership crisis at the moment, and then something happens to make things even worse. Climbing down the banks to cross the river Ard, Kaley slips on Nian's cloak and falls down...hard.
Looking forward to reading your thoughts on this!
“Shit, are you alright?” Nian’s voice sounded from behind, and he
came down the rest of
the steep bank by the conventional route. He knelt down beside her, and she felt a gentle hand on her lower back.
“Kaley?” he asked, but she didn’t respond. His worried tone made her feel even more useless.
“Stop asking me if I'm alright,” she snapped, “I am not your responsibility.”
“Kaley?” he asked, but she didn’t respond. His worried tone made her feel even more useless.
“Stop asking me if I'm alright,” she snapped, “I am not your responsibility.”
~If anything, you
are mine, she thought bitterly, but it seemed a formality as much as a cruel joke, as she lay
there, stranded, with her face down in the gravel.
I like her spunk! Great interaction between these two. Very nice job :)
ReplyDeleteThank you Jess, I'm always happy to see you and curious to read your thoughts :)
DeleteOk, I just realized I don't really "read your thoughts" as much as I read on/up on them. Heeelp me out here - what's the correct way of saying it?
DeleteMajor conflict if she's fallen and she's the one who should be taking care of him. Great six.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much :)
DeleteGreat exchange here; I love the way you've shown Kaley's thoughts and emotions.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words, Karen!
DeleteGreat interplay here between your characters! Nicely done!
ReplyDeleteThank you, that's such high praise! :)
DeleteOne factor that coaxes me into your writing is your word choice and the conciseness in your writing. Using "stranded" to describe her emotions, to me it's brilliant. That one word tells me more about what she is feeling than some writers do in a full page.
ReplyDeleteOne other thing that draws me into your articles and other blog writing is your content ... I'm beside myself with how much I relate to your thoughts and notions when we live worlds apart. (I'm assuming here that you live in Germany? I use the Google German translator to read some of your words.)
I simply love your writing, every word you put into it is done so with amazing passion.
Thank you so much, I'm truly flattered :) It's so interesting for me to hear that what I often perceive as a "language barrier" comes across as concise. The thing that happened with the word stranded here is that I had a certain word in mind (German), and I had to get my dictionary to find an English word, roughly equivalent. That happens quite a lot, since German is my first language and I translate as I write stuff - it may lead to peculiar phrasings sometimes :)
DeleteLike many of my fellow countrymen I always have been sort of immersed in American culture, my husband and I started watching American movies without dubbing about 10 years ago, then the same thing happened with authors and video games - and then I discovered more and more American gems, such as podcasts, radio, late shows, stand-up.. - thanks to the interwebs for that! :) I just always feared I'd be missing out on something essential when there is a careless translation between me and the words of an author, e.g. - and some things never even reach the European audience or just cannot be translated. And let's be honest, fantasy literature is American or British territory, so I feel a lot closer this way, and to all of you guys, at least in language.
So thank you again for saying all those nice things :)
You do it well, accident of translation or not. ;) if it were not for your blog and the German words there, I wouldn't have guessed there was a difference at all in your writing. It does come across as brilliance, your "peculiar phrasings". If anything they are unique and that makes you and even better writer.
DeleteDana, this is so good. :-) I love that she is such a strong character--and that you have Nian trying to care for her in spite of it :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, I feel as though I did something right this time?! I would never have come so far without your advice and input over these last few months. We've known each other for a bit over a year, and I think it's time for a toast: to friends!
Delete